dont you just love weekends?

this weekend, im going home for my mum's 50th birthday! yipee!

next week i'm watching 'rent' musical (woohoo, i get to watch it within the year afterall!) and we're having a two birthday celebrations

weekend after that i'm trying wargame! all 'ya bitches im all gonna shoot you to death! wahahahaha!

then weekend after that, is our group's christmas party! we're camping on our friend's rooftop. it's a costume/bbq/hotpot/alcohol party!

then weekend is my real rest weekend... but you'll never know! i can do my long overdue museum hopping plan here.

then bam ba ba baaaam! christmas! im coming home again! woot woot! my first christmas in the philippines after five years!

then probably new year in macau! i'd love to see their fireworks. woohoo! i live for weekends! uh ah!

nanood ako ng I DO...

pucha winner si bernard! grabe ang mga punchlines. sa totoo lang fan talaga ako ng unrequited love. pag nanonood ako ng movie, gusto ko makatuluyan ng bida ung nagmamahal sa kanya ng walang humpay. at most of the time nakakatuluyan nya pa din ung isa pang bida na ilang beses na sya sinaktan. naiinis ako na parang may amnesia ata ang bida or sadyang bulag sya para di nya marealize na ito ung taong kayang ibigay ang mundo sa kanya. tsk tsk... true love nga naman.. sa lahat ng nabasa at napanood ko na ganito ang scenario, isang picoult novel lang ang naging ganito ang ending. at tuwang tuwa ako. ay mali, pati pala katorse!

sabagay ako din ganyan.. un nga lang ako ung tagabigay ng unrequited love.. wewe...emo na naman! pero seryoso bakit nga ba tayo mahilig magfall sa mga sira ulo? ako talaga aminado ako na trip ko talaga ung ganun. ewan ko ba.. parang enjoy na enjoy tayong ginagago tayo no? parang sarap na sarap tayong magbigay ng second chance, or third chance or fourth at ilang beses pa! may issue ba tayo sa ating self esteem? feeling ba naten di naten deserve ang maging carefree na pagmamahal? feeling ba naten di natin maaachieve ung ideal? or may messiahnic complex ba tayo? feeling ba naten kaya natin silang gawin mabuti at tahakin sa tamang landas?

basta ako lie low muna. i never felt so happy being single. i've got cool friends, i have a supportive family, and i got some money in the bank to spend for my weekend activities... who needs an intimate relationship? i have this sorta deal with a friend. loko loko lang pero alam mo ung feeling na... hmmm, pucha eto na sa wakas.. dami ko sana gusto sabihin about it pero... basta kung papakwentuhin mo ko about dun napakahabang post nun.

anyway, ito ang mga words of wisdom nung character ni janus del prado. galing lang ng metaphors e.





1) ang pag-ibig parang cellphone na nahulog sa toilet bowl. makukuha mo lang kung meron kang lakas ng loob



2) ang pag-ibig parang computer virus. sinisira lahat ng pinaghirapan mo.



3) ang pag-ibig parang dry ice. kung bibitawan mo lang wag mo na hawakan.



4) ang pag-ibig parang crispy pata. masarap pero deadly.



5) ang pag-ibig parang bill ng koryente. ang daming hidden charges wala kang laban.



6) ang pag-ibig hindi parang ATM machine. kuha ka ng kuha magdeposito ka naman.



7) ang pag-ibig parang taxi lang yan. ung iba namimili ng pasahero ako any point of luzon pwede.



8) ang pag-ibig parang multiple choice. ako lang piliin mo buka na bukas papakasal tayo.



9) ang pag-ibig parang bangaw na natrap sa coche. kahit anong bugaw mo di mo pa din mapaalis.



10) ang pag-ibig parang MRT. wag mo isiksik sarili mo kung wala ng lugar. may next train pa naman.



11) ang pag-ibig parang ipis na tinapakan. akala mo patay na, un pala buhay pa.



12) ang pag-ibig parang tinga. kahit anong sungkit mo nakabaon pa din.



13) ang pag-ibig parang multo. sabi sabi lang pero wala namang pruweba



14) ANG WINNER SA LAHAT: make a mistake with me. malay mo makatsamba ka sa maling choice

oh dear...

i swear i started a post on my vietnam trip. but i got so busy with work that i can barely finish it. then i still have my china trip.. then the tagaytay trip... then eventually my nanaj's birthday next week! waaahhh!!! then im coming home for christmas! my first time in 5 yrs. first year i had my sister and mother come over here... then 3 christmases i was with b... now it's time to go back to my family! FFF! family and friends first.

but let me tell you what i've been up to lately. i have this feeling that im gonna die soon (well we should all have that feeling because you never know, right?)... so im doing what i could do. and my credit card is suffering! hahahaha! but what the heck, i work 16 hrs a day so i fuckin' deserve these!

i watched GREASE. aaaahhhh!!! it's lovely! it's cute! it's adult HS musical!!! it makes you want to fall in love in a puppy love kinda way!

then i watched rocky horror picture show. it's not as spectacular as grease, but boy i seriously had a good time.. it's like sitting in a comedy bar only with effective shows and with full audience participation! you got tissue throwing, shower, audience dancing on their feet and lots and lots of ass! everyone's in net stockings! woot woot! it's well executed it's dirty in a rawwwr way!

then before christmas i'd go to a BBC show with real life replicas of moving dinosaurs. i know it's too kiddish, but what the heck, i was fascinated with jurassic park when i was nine, and it's BBC! they should put up a good show, right?!

then for next year i have sure bookings for two malaysian cities!!! penang in june and KL in december! woot weeew!!! i intend to go to KL alone... i want to go solo traveling again! though i may do that on january 1st in china for the canton safari... not yet sure, depending on the budget.

oh dear, it's like im rushing for the things that i still want to do! single life is not bad afterall! im always drunk on weekends, sheez!!! it's like i compensated for the times that i was in a large hiatus and i have to admit that i am loving it. it's fucking crazy to nurse a hangover, but it's nice to let loose for a while.

so galing sya dito kanina.

mga 1 oras din sya nandito. he's just supposed to grab his bag but i ended up asking him about downloading, then he transferred some files from my harddrive to his laptop.

nagkumustahan kame. kwento sya, kwento ako. syempre mas jolly ako magkwento, i am one of the most plastik persons afterall. pero un nga, awkward na for us. i dont know, lalo na for him. pigil na magkwento. maingat na sa mga sinasabi. and trust me, nothing happened. we did not have any body contact until we said goodbye.

nakakalungkot pala ung ganun no? alam mo ung feeling na gustong gusto mo makita ung tao, pero alam mong mas magandang wag na lang? kaya you go on with your life, silently fighting the memories... gradually easing the pain by all means. pero andun pa din ung feeling na... basta it's indescribable. this person will always be one of the people who would knock me off my feet. ung konting move nya lang, titiklop na ko. not the type that i'd spread my legs. but the moment when he greeted me nicely without any sign of rudeness, i took it as a sign that we may be ok again. then i became my usual me. jolly, machismis, makulit. it's like he's my strength and my weakness at the same time. ganun.

he's very careful all throughout. either he already got a new girl, or he's mature enough to stand by the break up. either way i was offended. give me a break, he was my everything a few months ago. i may have been out with friends a lot but im sure he has moved on much farther than i have and it pains me like hell. i mean, ako na nga ung di pinaglaban tapos ako pa din ung stuck sa past. you have no idea how it sucks to be in my shoes. and the sad part is no matter how hard i try to move on, i will always be the one who was not fought for and was naive enough to have waited for nothing.

before he left he said that i could text or email him when we bike around his area and maybe he'll join us. i suddenly changed my mood and took out all the courage to say "you know i won't". and we both know that that is what's going to happen. we are not ready to be friends. god knows how i wish that everything just becomes casual. but im not ready. not yet.

i accompanied him outside my gate and you could see that he's just dying to get out. but being the pathetic monger, i asked for a hug, which he gave. and i held on a little longer. i said that's the last time that i may see him which could be true. moving on is one task that takes me a very long time and maybe i need more time.

but shemexes aside, that's one good hug. i know it's the last thing i need but it's still the same hug that could comfort me any time.

i'm writing this using my new laptop

ok... here's the thing: i've been using b's laptop since february. i gave my laptop to my sister (original plan was just to lend but i ended up giving it to her). anyway, long story short: i used b's lappie for the meantime. then we broke up. then it's still with me... then he emailed me last week asking me to return his things that are still in my flat. i wasn't expecting to hear from him again ever... but there he was, getting all his stuff back.

why am i writing about this? i dont know, it's not about the laptop per se. i certainly could afford a new one, which i already did. but the notebook is the last symbol that i have at least gotten a hand after all the pain and all shemexes. whenever i say to people that we have broken up and we havent been talking at all.. i would smile thereafter and say: what the heck, i got his laptop so f*ck it i got something afterall. and now it's gone.

oh wells... that's life. you win some you lose some. in this case a totally lost a lot. well about him of course.

oh, i forgot to tell you about my date last time. it was totally ruined by friends. but we're good chatmates again after that disaster. he's a good conversationalist and we're good online buddies. but i guess it's going to be left like that. just friends -- which i am ok with. i've reached the point of realizing that i cannot make all new male friends as potential bf. some are just friends. so there, we're good. i enjoy single life and im in no rush to jump into another relationship. what's the point in rushing when you know you'd just have to put up with another jerk? might as well enjoy single life!

my 500th post

I am saving my 500th post for something really special. And now I got an effing story to tell. I was so drunk last night that i slipped in the bar cr and hit my head on the corner of the wooden table stand of the sink. It was a really deep cut and the bleeding could hardly stop! I never emitted that much blood out of my body except from my monthly period. It was really really scary. I seriously thought that I was going to die by non-stop bleeding. It eventually stopped after I made several tissue paper wet with my own blood.

I had to drag m out of the bar and show her the cut. We went to the nearest 7-11 to buy bandages. We still partied after that. I don’t know… it’s always that way whenever I encounter an accident. I have to show that it was nothing and I could still do things. I slept again at a friend’s place and I could not remember anything else from last night apart from that pool of blood on my face.

And it’s only now that I realize that the cut is just at the top of my right eyebrow. That’s just 1.8cm from my right eye!!! If I was not lucky I could be blind by now! Fuuuck!!!! What if I wasn’t lucky?

So now, I am going to enjoy life as much as I can. I can lose my body parts anytime but while I still have them all intact, I will do all the things I have planned, wanted and dreamt of.

I am so thankful for being lucky!

so i've been quiet lately, huh?

that's because i am genuinely fine right now. writing has done so much as a therapy and it also helped that i've been busy with stuff. now i can seriously say that im happy after all the shemexes.

the cebu trip was really nice and i got super nice photos. ill tell the stories on the next post. then by end of the week im going to tagaytay for a's wedding. yep, aj1981 is finally getting a church wedding of her dream.

and i get a date this saturday. ;)

im not keeping my hopes up, but im more excited on the fact that im back in the market... and that i'd meet a lot of bachelors the next day.

life suddenly became more interesting. high five!