i still fall for you.
*wink *wink
thanks for doing my laundry and for cleaning my room while i was in canton.
gawin mo ng habit ha?! preferably every weekend. :)
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
burlesque photo shoot
one of my co-actors in m4m asked for my help to do a photoshoot with her dance group. theme was burlesque and i didnt have any difficulty tagging along some ppc peeps. it was a nice shoot. the girls prepared really well and they didn't have qualms on posing. i like 'em burlesque girls. yiiihaaa!
hk flower show 2009
i have to brag these super nice photos from the recent hk flower show. it's been a while since i did my own photowalk! it's a very good therapy. haaayyyy...
Mission: Getting Cultured
So after the M4M, I think I need to start on gearing more civilized events. I felt for Friends’ Joey when he felt out of place when he’s with friends because he doesn’t know anything about decent general knowledge. Here are things that I did to equip me some bragging rights when I brush elbows with high profile peeps, samahan mo pa ng pasosyal na taas ng noo at meek smile (kase kapag malakas ang tawa, barriotic daw. Haha!). Samahan na din naten ng pasosyal na remark:
Watched a choir group’s concert on famous Broadway songs. They played songs from Rent, Sound of Music, Hairspray,etc.
oh my gosh, they’re showing ‘wicked’ in HK! Like I sooo wanted to go. Eversince I
saw somebody performed ‘for good’, it made me want to watch ‘wicked’ live!
Watched Shakespeare’s ‘Hamlet’. I felt cheated because it’s a very simple production for such amount that I paid. Arggg… Nevertheless, bragging rights… haha!
(scolding a schizophrenic friend) You’re like ‘Hamlet’. You’re so paranoid. Relax a little and clear your mind before you do anything stupid. Hamlet lost everything, including his dear life because he’s too engrossed with vengeance. Yihaaa!!!
Watched Cirque de Soleil’s ‘Zaia’. Oh diba, pangalan pa lang feeling pasosyal na! It’s so crappy because I was expecting a festive circus with magic tricks and stunning stunts. But they are all slooooow stunts and Latin singing. I think that they only choose one of the characters and named her Zaia so they can arrive at a title for the show. It’s so sophisticated. The stunts aren’t even related! Arrggg! Suuper mahal pa naman! I even fell asleep for a few minutes!
Oh, I’ve watched one of CDS’ shows.. It’s really spellbinding, you know (for a few seconds it really was). And the technical points are really amazing (which in fairness is true)! And the Latin songs! Wow, simply heavenly. You’d feel like you’re being serenaded by angels. (If you’re really into classical songs, maybe you’d say this. But for somebody who grew up with rock music and parties to hip hop, probably this is the most excruciating moment of your life).
Will watch ‘Cats’ middle of June. Got the ticket already! Well this one I really don’t need to think twice… well there’s that price factor. Oh wells, I got paid for it already so no backing out now. Hurray to cultured broke people!
Watched a choir group’s concert on famous Broadway songs. They played songs from Rent, Sound of Music, Hairspray,etc.
oh my gosh, they’re showing ‘wicked’ in HK! Like I sooo wanted to go. Eversince I
saw somebody performed ‘for good’, it made me want to watch ‘wicked’ live!
Watched Shakespeare’s ‘Hamlet’. I felt cheated because it’s a very simple production for such amount that I paid. Arggg… Nevertheless, bragging rights… haha!
(scolding a schizophrenic friend) You’re like ‘Hamlet’. You’re so paranoid. Relax a little and clear your mind before you do anything stupid. Hamlet lost everything, including his dear life because he’s too engrossed with vengeance. Yihaaa!!!
Watched Cirque de Soleil’s ‘Zaia’. Oh diba, pangalan pa lang feeling pasosyal na! It’s so crappy because I was expecting a festive circus with magic tricks and stunning stunts. But they are all slooooow stunts and Latin singing. I think that they only choose one of the characters and named her Zaia so they can arrive at a title for the show. It’s so sophisticated. The stunts aren’t even related! Arrggg! Suuper mahal pa naman! I even fell asleep for a few minutes!
Oh, I’ve watched one of CDS’ shows.. It’s really spellbinding, you know (for a few seconds it really was). And the technical points are really amazing (which in fairness is true)! And the Latin songs! Wow, simply heavenly. You’d feel like you’re being serenaded by angels. (If you’re really into classical songs, maybe you’d say this. But for somebody who grew up with rock music and parties to hip hop, probably this is the most excruciating moment of your life).
Will watch ‘Cats’ middle of June. Got the ticket already! Well this one I really don’t need to think twice… well there’s that price factor. Oh wells, I got paid for it already so no backing out now. Hurray to cultured broke people!
Monday, April 20, 2009
When I'm Pissed...
I write.
I have always been an exaggeratingly reactive person. I shout when I’m excited. I ‘roar’ when I’m mad. I squeak for ten straight seconds when I find something gross. Most of the time people around me find me scandalous. Most of the time I spent sleepless nights trying to go back to those scandalous moments. There were a hundred million scenarios when I could have done or said things differently. I always find that better alternative to make things favourable but I didn’t. I think I have a slow cognitive system that I really need at least 24 hrs to think things over. Both of us would be sorry if you let me say something now. Chances are I’d say something nasty, or stupid, or just plain unrelated to the topic.
But it’s different when I write. I have ample time to verify what I really feel. I’m still selfish that I never bothered how others would react. But at least I have the opportunity to assess myself first. I’ve written crazy things for the past two years and I still like reading my posts until now. They’re honest, raw, very ‘blsm’. You know those moments when those writers or mushy quotes say that it’s better to say or do it than regret in the future that you didn’t? When I backread, I get that accomplishment. Since there wasn’t any pretension, I feel liberated that I said (in this case, wrote) everything I needed to say.
There’s nothing really blind item-ish in this post. I’m not going to mention another person that did me wrong.
Oh well, why not? :p
They f*cking pissed me anyway!
C, my colleague
You asked me why I didn’t tell you that I got a bf. Well C, I’m not the type of person who prances around the plaza telling everybody she runs into that she’s got a bf! Also, you are too protective. You are not my mother. I hate your guts. I used to admire you for being caring but I lost it when you started backstabbing every body in the office. I’m 100% sure you’re doing the same to me. And please, can you compose your own email? How many times do I have to tell you the difference between ‘patient’ and ‘patience’? I repeat, you are not my mother. That’s why I’m in HK, a few hundred miles away from my mother. I don’t like anybody telling me what to do. Go look after your own kids. You have three. Why not help your helper rearing your children instead of finding a fault from her every five seconds and broadcasting to the office how stupid she is?
W, my big boss
Will you stop being desperate infront of our clients? It’s bloody irritating. Do you have to piss them off by cornering them and telling them things that they don’t really need to know? Don’t you notice that they were just mechanically nodding after you stop, giving them the cue that you’re finally finished only to be disappointed that you’re really not? Just shut up. Your bullshit days are over. Don’t waste people’s time. We get orders by being diligent, and not by doing a litany of your arrogance. They just smile at you because they pity you for trying hard considering your age. They’ve never seen an old man so desperate like you. And please… stop asking me to drink. I am not a drinker. Don’t embarrass me infront of our clients just because I’m a sissy for not being a drunkard like you! Oh, and lastly, stop asking me to sing infront of our clients?! I’m an executive, not a GRO! You dirty man! Aaarrggggg!
V, my direct manager
Will you stop slaving me? I only got two hands and I can only do so much. Why do you ask me to work so hard when you’re so cheapo not to replace any of the three colleagues who left the office? We, the people under your supervision, don’t even get a bonus! Maybe you come to the office on time and leave at 6pm? You know, the supposed end of our shift? You should see how we work so you can have a good inheritance when your slaving father goes to the other side.
The owner of the New Star Long Distance Call Service
Will you bloody improve your system? Gosh, I’ve never been so dissatisfied until I availed your service! You’re not cheap, and you cannot even deliver standard service. And you even had the guts to ask me to renew my account and deposit another fortune in your account? Aren’t you guys ashamed? Do you actually feel proud for working in a company that’s just plain inefficient?
S, my roomie
Why did you have to broadcast in the office that you wake me up in the morning? It only happened once in your 8 month stay here! When you knock at my door, I’m already up by then. So don’t tell our boss that you deserve to get the credit. I got a bf to take that.
E, the lover of my uncle
The hell, when will you pay me then? I hate it when I get mad about money, but what can I do? It looks like my wage for 10 days is going down the drain!
B
You know I love you to pieces. But will you stop getting my camera gears when I’m not around and just informing me that you got them over the phone? I bloody hate it when I’m not given the opportunity to decide before anything gets done – on my belongings! We’re not yet married and those are simply mine. I starve for days to purchase those and you can at least ask for permission or return them immediately. I may not look like I worship my stuff every night, but I think anybody wouldn’t like the idea of not finding your own stuff when you need them just because they’re not yet returned, especially if you worked hard for those.
Myself
So what will you do when you’re aware that your career is going nowhere? You’re not learning anymore from your job and you hate the people you work with. You pity yourself because you think you’re not going to get some place else soon. Then why did you have to mess up the cover letters that you submit recently? Duuhhh??? How will they grant you an interview in the newspaper when you didn’t even see that your letter has so many typo errors?! Aaahhhh!!!
________________________________
See? I just need to write. Now I feel a little better. Still pissed, but a little better.
I have always been an exaggeratingly reactive person. I shout when I’m excited. I ‘roar’ when I’m mad. I squeak for ten straight seconds when I find something gross. Most of the time people around me find me scandalous. Most of the time I spent sleepless nights trying to go back to those scandalous moments. There were a hundred million scenarios when I could have done or said things differently. I always find that better alternative to make things favourable but I didn’t. I think I have a slow cognitive system that I really need at least 24 hrs to think things over. Both of us would be sorry if you let me say something now. Chances are I’d say something nasty, or stupid, or just plain unrelated to the topic.
But it’s different when I write. I have ample time to verify what I really feel. I’m still selfish that I never bothered how others would react. But at least I have the opportunity to assess myself first. I’ve written crazy things for the past two years and I still like reading my posts until now. They’re honest, raw, very ‘blsm’. You know those moments when those writers or mushy quotes say that it’s better to say or do it than regret in the future that you didn’t? When I backread, I get that accomplishment. Since there wasn’t any pretension, I feel liberated that I said (in this case, wrote) everything I needed to say.
There’s nothing really blind item-ish in this post. I’m not going to mention another person that did me wrong.
Oh well, why not? :p
They f*cking pissed me anyway!
C, my colleague
You asked me why I didn’t tell you that I got a bf. Well C, I’m not the type of person who prances around the plaza telling everybody she runs into that she’s got a bf! Also, you are too protective. You are not my mother. I hate your guts. I used to admire you for being caring but I lost it when you started backstabbing every body in the office. I’m 100% sure you’re doing the same to me. And please, can you compose your own email? How many times do I have to tell you the difference between ‘patient’ and ‘patience’? I repeat, you are not my mother. That’s why I’m in HK, a few hundred miles away from my mother. I don’t like anybody telling me what to do. Go look after your own kids. You have three. Why not help your helper rearing your children instead of finding a fault from her every five seconds and broadcasting to the office how stupid she is?
W, my big boss
Will you stop being desperate infront of our clients? It’s bloody irritating. Do you have to piss them off by cornering them and telling them things that they don’t really need to know? Don’t you notice that they were just mechanically nodding after you stop, giving them the cue that you’re finally finished only to be disappointed that you’re really not? Just shut up. Your bullshit days are over. Don’t waste people’s time. We get orders by being diligent, and not by doing a litany of your arrogance. They just smile at you because they pity you for trying hard considering your age. They’ve never seen an old man so desperate like you. And please… stop asking me to drink. I am not a drinker. Don’t embarrass me infront of our clients just because I’m a sissy for not being a drunkard like you! Oh, and lastly, stop asking me to sing infront of our clients?! I’m an executive, not a GRO! You dirty man! Aaarrggggg!
V, my direct manager
Will you stop slaving me? I only got two hands and I can only do so much. Why do you ask me to work so hard when you’re so cheapo not to replace any of the three colleagues who left the office? We, the people under your supervision, don’t even get a bonus! Maybe you come to the office on time and leave at 6pm? You know, the supposed end of our shift? You should see how we work so you can have a good inheritance when your slaving father goes to the other side.
The owner of the New Star Long Distance Call Service
Will you bloody improve your system? Gosh, I’ve never been so dissatisfied until I availed your service! You’re not cheap, and you cannot even deliver standard service. And you even had the guts to ask me to renew my account and deposit another fortune in your account? Aren’t you guys ashamed? Do you actually feel proud for working in a company that’s just plain inefficient?
S, my roomie
Why did you have to broadcast in the office that you wake me up in the morning? It only happened once in your 8 month stay here! When you knock at my door, I’m already up by then. So don’t tell our boss that you deserve to get the credit. I got a bf to take that.
E, the lover of my uncle
The hell, when will you pay me then? I hate it when I get mad about money, but what can I do? It looks like my wage for 10 days is going down the drain!
B
You know I love you to pieces. But will you stop getting my camera gears when I’m not around and just informing me that you got them over the phone? I bloody hate it when I’m not given the opportunity to decide before anything gets done – on my belongings! We’re not yet married and those are simply mine. I starve for days to purchase those and you can at least ask for permission or return them immediately. I may not look like I worship my stuff every night, but I think anybody wouldn’t like the idea of not finding your own stuff when you need them just because they’re not yet returned, especially if you worked hard for those.
Myself
So what will you do when you’re aware that your career is going nowhere? You’re not learning anymore from your job and you hate the people you work with. You pity yourself because you think you’re not going to get some place else soon. Then why did you have to mess up the cover letters that you submit recently? Duuhhh??? How will they grant you an interview in the newspaper when you didn’t even see that your letter has so many typo errors?! Aaahhhh!!!
________________________________
See? I just need to write. Now I feel a little better. Still pissed, but a little better.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
this is a good way to end my first 2009 quarter!
a review from a person who watched our play! oh god, this moved me to tears!!!
Thanks so much for inviting me to see Measure for Measure. You made a very convincing Duke Vincentio and Friar Lodowick! I thought you portrayed the Dukes regal bearing and the friar's humility equally well. Your soliloquies were particularly good.
I've written down my observations but, while I studied drama for five years and performed in amateur productions, I am by no means an expert so treat my comments as purely the observations of an audience member ...
My only criticism was that sometimes lines were spoken a little fast so that someone unfamiliar with the script might lose the meaning ... but this is an observation that can be made of most performers ... nerves have this effect on many people! i found the indistinct lines much, much more distracting than when lines were forgotten.
While I was worried about my staying power in a play that lasted for more than two hours, I was very pleasantly surprised and was carried along by the very gripping plot, which was so creatively presented.
I loved the opening scene/dance. This both lured the audience into the production with its unusual choreography and catchy music, and served to familiarise us with the characters that we'd just read about in the programme. I thought it could have benefitted from being slightly shorter.
Al Leung as Angelo was a very convincing character who made me, by turns, despise or sympathise with him. I found his contrition at the end moving and real.
Anne Alarcon as Isabella gave a very compelling performance. She flawlessly "held" her character throughout the play, and even her silences/inaction conveyed a message. She used gesture and facial expression very powerfully and won the audience's sympathy almost immediately.
I thought Jay Martinez as Claudio was very well cast. He had a real stage presence even when not in the limelight and exuded a quiet strength and tenacity perfect to the character.
Christine Klitsie as the Provost had a marvellously compelling and androgynous stage presence. Early in the play I wondered "whose side" she was on and I think she presently her ambivalence very powerfully, slowly revealing through the course of the play where her sympathies lay. This good cop/bad cop male/female role added an important perspective to the play. I thought the wig really suited Christine!
Raymond Benoza as Lucio was magnificent .... his camp spitefulness tinged with humour was mesmerising. His gestural work was excellent and he vacillated between being a sympathetic figure and an outright rogue. Again, this carried one of the themes of the play: sin/virtue. The audience laughed heartily, yet perhaps a little uncomfortably, not certain whether to lend their support to a character in whom they saw their own "double-sidedness" reflected. Raymond should do more on stage!
Blosson Valiente as Pompey and Juliet was so convincing in each character that I only realised in the closing scene that the characters were played by the same person! Pompey won the audience immediately and Blossom played up his wit and charms perfectly. Her constant movement and animated facial expressions were wonderful. She definitely enjoyed the most laughs from the audience.
I saw Jong Inocencio as Escalus as a real "rock" in the production. I thought Jong portrayed him perfectly as a sturdy and constant influence amid a maelstrom of uncertainty and vacillation. Jong convincingly put across Escalus' measured and thoughtful approach to justice.
Karen Ghisella Li as Marianna was wonderfully mysterious and ethereal. I thought she played her part with the necessary restraint, always leaving the audience wanting to know more about her.
JR dela Cruz had a full plate of roles which he pulled off excellently. I thought his most poweful one was as the friar near the end of the play. Even in silence he exudes a powerful sympathy and almost palpable spiritual concern.
The "set" on the floor was magnificent and very imaginative. The costumes and props were inspired ... I particularly liked the quirky appearance of the top hat, the diaphonous shirts, the flagellant's whips, the suitcase, the comically huge pregnant belly, the fleecy hood worn by the "friar" in the last scene (as though he had just been on a hike in Sai Kung in winter!)
All in all a really excellent performance and well worth the $200 and trip to Kwai Chung. I only wish more people could have seen it! One observation: for its size, the audience was one of the most diverse I've ever seen at any HK performance -- Chinese, Americans, South Africans, South Asians, Philippinos, Scots! This was a triumph in itself.
Let me know when the next one is!
Thanks so much for inviting me to see Measure for Measure. You made a very convincing Duke Vincentio and Friar Lodowick! I thought you portrayed the Dukes regal bearing and the friar's humility equally well. Your soliloquies were particularly good.
I've written down my observations but, while I studied drama for five years and performed in amateur productions, I am by no means an expert so treat my comments as purely the observations of an audience member ...
My only criticism was that sometimes lines were spoken a little fast so that someone unfamiliar with the script might lose the meaning ... but this is an observation that can be made of most performers ... nerves have this effect on many people! i found the indistinct lines much, much more distracting than when lines were forgotten.
While I was worried about my staying power in a play that lasted for more than two hours, I was very pleasantly surprised and was carried along by the very gripping plot, which was so creatively presented.
I loved the opening scene/dance. This both lured the audience into the production with its unusual choreography and catchy music, and served to familiarise us with the characters that we'd just read about in the programme. I thought it could have benefitted from being slightly shorter.
Al Leung as Angelo was a very convincing character who made me, by turns, despise or sympathise with him. I found his contrition at the end moving and real.
Anne Alarcon as Isabella gave a very compelling performance. She flawlessly "held" her character throughout the play, and even her silences/inaction conveyed a message. She used gesture and facial expression very powerfully and won the audience's sympathy almost immediately.
I thought Jay Martinez as Claudio was very well cast. He had a real stage presence even when not in the limelight and exuded a quiet strength and tenacity perfect to the character.
Christine Klitsie as the Provost had a marvellously compelling and androgynous stage presence. Early in the play I wondered "whose side" she was on and I think she presently her ambivalence very powerfully, slowly revealing through the course of the play where her sympathies lay. This good cop/bad cop male/female role added an important perspective to the play. I thought the wig really suited Christine!
Raymond Benoza as Lucio was magnificent .... his camp spitefulness tinged with humour was mesmerising. His gestural work was excellent and he vacillated between being a sympathetic figure and an outright rogue. Again, this carried one of the themes of the play: sin/virtue. The audience laughed heartily, yet perhaps a little uncomfortably, not certain whether to lend their support to a character in whom they saw their own "double-sidedness" reflected. Raymond should do more on stage!
Blosson Valiente as Pompey and Juliet was so convincing in each character that I only realised in the closing scene that the characters were played by the same person! Pompey won the audience immediately and Blossom played up his wit and charms perfectly. Her constant movement and animated facial expressions were wonderful. She definitely enjoyed the most laughs from the audience.
I saw Jong Inocencio as Escalus as a real "rock" in the production. I thought Jong portrayed him perfectly as a sturdy and constant influence amid a maelstrom of uncertainty and vacillation. Jong convincingly put across Escalus' measured and thoughtful approach to justice.
Karen Ghisella Li as Marianna was wonderfully mysterious and ethereal. I thought she played her part with the necessary restraint, always leaving the audience wanting to know more about her.
JR dela Cruz had a full plate of roles which he pulled off excellently. I thought his most poweful one was as the friar near the end of the play. Even in silence he exudes a powerful sympathy and almost palpable spiritual concern.
The "set" on the floor was magnificent and very imaginative. The costumes and props were inspired ... I particularly liked the quirky appearance of the top hat, the diaphonous shirts, the flagellant's whips, the suitcase, the comically huge pregnant belly, the fleecy hood worn by the "friar" in the last scene (as though he had just been on a hike in Sai Kung in winter!)
All in all a really excellent performance and well worth the $200 and trip to Kwai Chung. I only wish more people could have seen it! One observation: for its size, the audience was one of the most diverse I've ever seen at any HK performance -- Chinese, Americans, South Africans, South Asians, Philippinos, Scots! This was a triumph in itself.
Let me know when the next one is!
m4m: the end
four months ago, i read an email from mida addressed to our UP alumni egroup about an audition for the play she's planning. she's a close friend of mine, and i know how big of a deal this first staged play is to her. i mean, that's what lamda people do, right? i JOKED that maybe i should audition, for fun. im not really into plays. im not that cultured to be acquainted with theatre, shakespeare, acting! i have very limited acting experience, i was too lousy during our hs skits that i always played inanimate objects. my hosting stints are different. for some reason, people expect emcees to be lousy anyway. my stints were pro bono, so they cannot really complain, can they? besides, they go to functions to socialize, not to hear the litany of the emcees.
when i made that joke with mida, it was one of those days when i felt i could do anything. i was too bored then that i needed something different to add colour to my life. before the audition, mida asked for my help to be part of the production. i confirmed immediately. im too sure that i won't make it to the cut for casting anyway. so might as well help out. needless to say, i got in and was cast as the most comedic character. im also part of production, scouring for props, and doing the photography.
voila! welcome to the most stressful for months of my life! imagine rushing to rehearsal venues after work, turning down friends' invites for dinner, going home late, memorizing the freaking lines which up to now are still not so clear, dealing with tension, enduring tardiness of some co-actors, finding a tailor to do a friar's costume similar to what friars wear 100 years ago, or scouring for a christmas lantern when papa jesus' birthday finished a long time ago. it's pure hardship.
it's the most stressful yet the most rewarding.
i have to admit that there were more times when i scolded myself for getting myself dragged into this endeavor. i have a full time job, a boyfriend, a house to keep, club to write minutes for, migrants to train, and there were instances that i just wanted to shout with all the pressure. when you meet four days a week for rehearsals, that's when you think you had to let it go. actors do it because it's their passion. but i know im not an actress. this is not my passion.
but came february, i gradually saw everybody stepping up. im not yet close with my co-actors then. but i fully respected them when they say their lines with great vigour. and mida! oh god, obsessed is an understatement when it comes to her understanding of the play. she's so effing good! when i see everybody doing their best, i was like: fuck, these are really brilliant people. i should be honored being part of a team with these brilliant men and women. blsm, just go the extra step. or mile. or lightyears. whatever it takes to prove that you are rightful to be part of this play.
you have no idea how accomplished i felt every time we finish a show. all those applause, you know that they appreciate what you did. it's so different when i did my salutatory speech half a lifetime ago. 'pompey' is one of the minor roles that if you do a synopsis of the play, you can completely understand it without mentioning pompey. but i take pride in my character. pompey is what makes measure for measure a comedy. take him away, and you'll get egotistic drama. and i think i did my part in the 7 shows being active and all. it's all about proper timing and i think i did well in that area.
this is indeed a humbling experience. when i grow old and i have grandchildren to spoil, ill recount to them this moment in my life. ill tell them that this was one of those times when i felt i could do anything. indeed i could.
when i made that joke with mida, it was one of those days when i felt i could do anything. i was too bored then that i needed something different to add colour to my life. before the audition, mida asked for my help to be part of the production. i confirmed immediately. im too sure that i won't make it to the cut for casting anyway. so might as well help out. needless to say, i got in and was cast as the most comedic character. im also part of production, scouring for props, and doing the photography.
voila! welcome to the most stressful for months of my life! imagine rushing to rehearsal venues after work, turning down friends' invites for dinner, going home late, memorizing the freaking lines which up to now are still not so clear, dealing with tension, enduring tardiness of some co-actors, finding a tailor to do a friar's costume similar to what friars wear 100 years ago, or scouring for a christmas lantern when papa jesus' birthday finished a long time ago. it's pure hardship.
it's the most stressful yet the most rewarding.
i have to admit that there were more times when i scolded myself for getting myself dragged into this endeavor. i have a full time job, a boyfriend, a house to keep, club to write minutes for, migrants to train, and there were instances that i just wanted to shout with all the pressure. when you meet four days a week for rehearsals, that's when you think you had to let it go. actors do it because it's their passion. but i know im not an actress. this is not my passion.
but came february, i gradually saw everybody stepping up. im not yet close with my co-actors then. but i fully respected them when they say their lines with great vigour. and mida! oh god, obsessed is an understatement when it comes to her understanding of the play. she's so effing good! when i see everybody doing their best, i was like: fuck, these are really brilliant people. i should be honored being part of a team with these brilliant men and women. blsm, just go the extra step. or mile. or lightyears. whatever it takes to prove that you are rightful to be part of this play.
you have no idea how accomplished i felt every time we finish a show. all those applause, you know that they appreciate what you did. it's so different when i did my salutatory speech half a lifetime ago. 'pompey' is one of the minor roles that if you do a synopsis of the play, you can completely understand it without mentioning pompey. but i take pride in my character. pompey is what makes measure for measure a comedy. take him away, and you'll get egotistic drama. and i think i did my part in the 7 shows being active and all. it's all about proper timing and i think i did well in that area.
this is indeed a humbling experience. when i grow old and i have grandchildren to spoil, ill recount to them this moment in my life. ill tell them that this was one of those times when i felt i could do anything. indeed i could.