a post with social relevance

i wanted this blog to be all about my personal experiences - my laughs, cries, triumphs, defeats, joys, heartbreaks, exhaustion and restlessness. but i guess it's about time that i say something about what is it about being a filipino in a place where our nationality is more known for being domestic helpers more than anything.

i have been indifferent about how people perceive filipinos. afterall, im ultimately just me. im not defined by any race or color. i am proud on how i grew up. this blsm is a product of her family's love, the institutions that molded her, the companionship of true and false friends and how she adapted into a cruel world after all these years. i came from a poor family, and i struggled every step of the way. but then again, that's another story.

but allow me to say my piece on how it feels like being one. i am one hundred percent filipino afterall, however i try to be individualistic.

patriotism aside, i have to say that it is more ideal to live in hong kong than manila. i could never walk alone in the pinas after nine in the evening. taking a cab is as dangerous as walking alone in dark areas and you have to press your cellphone keys inside your bag. you use your backpack infront and you can never be safe in movie houses or parking lots. these paranoia i have long let go when im in hk. hong kong may seem conservative since it should still center on chinese values, but it is the most liberated, not to mention safest place ever. but then there are times when you miss the chaos of it all.when you fear for your life everyday, you could not be more thankful that you are still alive the following day. but then again, i still wouldn't exchange being sure that no one's robbing my flat at night. it's peace of mind we're talking about here, and i'd do anything to sleep soundly when i retire to my comfy bed every two in the morning. let's leave it at that. it'll have to be another story.

i have to say that i am being "liked" in my workplace now. they can see that i am becoming indispensable, and they treat me as somebody who isn't a junior even though i am still way younger than all of them. they have so much confidence in me. i came from the "gifted nation" after all. during our canton party last week, they asked me to sing and i gladly accommodated their request. i sang i will survive and flashdance. i was sensational to say the least. all of our clients, contacts and my colleagues were surprised on how i performed. they know that filipinos are good performers and i proved them indeed.

one of my colleagues then asked me why are we still mired in poverty while we have what it takes for any nation to succeed. we are hardworking, we have rich natural resources, we are confident, we speak perfect english, and we have beautiful faces. most of these they lack, but how come the philippines is still a third world country without any chance of getting elevated any time soon? how come we resort to being helpers or prostitutes when we know we have what i takes to dream for more, not that being a househelp is something to be ashamed of.i couldn't find the answer.

being a girl who cries whenever the phils' national item is being played solemnly, i promised myself to be one of those many expats who show to the world that we are more than what they perceive us to be. i take pride in being one of the key persons at our client meetings full of westerners and gladly reply that i am from the phils when they ask me how come i speak good english. i tell them that we have a very beautiful country if they are looking for a good place to go for vacation. i tell them that we are a race of happy and intellectual people. we always manage to smile at our lowest point, for such unknown reason. maybe we know that at the end of the day everything will be alright, so why fret about it?

at least in my own little ways, i tell them that we are still a decent race. but how can i change their perception if more than one hundred thousand filipinos sit in central walkways every sunday with their make shift cardboard and leave their rubbish afterwards making every venue look like a disaster area, or if another five thousand prostitutes walk around wanchai every night harassing foreigners asking them if they want to have fun?

it's just frustrating. can't they just flock at parks and ensure that they clean their rubbish? can't they just do normal jobs? there are still a lot of employment opportunities for people with less education if they are only willing to do real work. you feel like your personal movement is getting in vain when this is what you see.

and now i read in the news about joseph estrada's presidential pardon. i felt like crying upon watching the news when i was in canton. i participated in that rally six years ago to oust him. i know that i will be telling my grandchildren how i stood up and fight corruption. after a six year trial, he was finally convicted. only to be pardoned days later. that's plain bullshit! this is our chance to tell the world that we do not have a mediocre government. and they screw it up!

it's darn frustrating.