i did not get my dream job.
i did not even get an interview.
you know what can really piss me off? applying for a position, not getting a reply, and then i'll see that they'd post the same job advert a month later. did they actually look at my resume? i know it's not over the top, but it's pretty damn worthy of consideration.
arrrggggg!!! you have no idea how i badly i wanted that job! i've been dreaming of the things that i could do with it - how i can reach out to others, touch lives, empower women, empower pinoys... only to be deprived of an interview!
well if it's not for me, then the universe will just conspire for me not to get it. sheeet!!! when i was a kid, and blackouts used to be a normal part of lifestyle back then, i used to lie on our roof for hours waiting for a shooting star. i was highly influenced by those tv shows that say wishing for a shooting star can make your dreams come true. i waited and waited. only to get disappointed every time. now i am feeling that feeling again.
you have no idea how i hate my job now. for all the pressure, fatigue and thanklessness, i was actually surprised that i haven't reached my boiling point. im one of the most pretentious persons i know, and i never thought that i could fool myself to wake up everyday and tell myself that it will be alright to go to work. it gets worse everytime.
anyway, i have some things to look forward to. it's the last two months of the year and bitterness isn't the way to end it. lemme tell you a secret...
1. im going to meet arnel pineda!!! yihaaa!!! so dont brag about your previous arnel pineda encounters. this is arnel pineda, POST-journey! ha! beat that! international beauty na ito! migs ayesa, and then arnel pineda! they'll be holding an exclusive concert for a hk company, but i happened to have some connections.. so there! lunch out with one of the pinoys who made us proud.
2. im going to see sarah geronimo again! i could not get enough of her feb concert this year. sarah overdose! did i say that im her number 1 fan in hk???
3. im auditioning for a shakespearean play. i have zilch knowledge in theatre. i was actually very lousy during our hs skits, but somehow this got me excited. i hope i get a part, even a very small one. if not, i can always help during production. it'll be easier because i won't get stage fright. after all those hosting stints, i still get sick nervous.
4. we may go to guilin. have you watched the painted veil by ed norton? yes, that setting! ooohhhhh... excited already!
5. emmy and i may go to bohol and kota kinabalu next year! lord, please let there be a money shower in my house.. i promise ill be nice this christmas if all my financial woes will fade away.
6. and... and... im going to apply for a mexican scholarship... please wish me luck. i really need to go back to school. the program that im applying for is really what i want. all my interests rolled into one - spanish, south east asia, monthly stipend. what more can i ask for? oh yes, a money shower.
i have to go now. i still owe you some pictures! ok, ok.. next post.
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Thursday, November 6, 2008
funny celebrity look alike story
ok, so which Hollywood celebrity do you think i look like?
i have this super freaking funny incident while i was in canton last week. i was asking for prices from a guy of about my age manning one of the booths.
he was getting fidgety with his camera for some apparent reason. i ignored his mannerisms and proceeded with business as usual.
then, this conversation. he's t:
t: you look like the one from the movie! i like her so much. do you know who i'm talking about?
b: no. i know im not a celebrity. (puzzled. there's no way i'd look like a chinese celebrity)
t: no, you really look like her. do you know "musical group"?
b: could you be talking about "high school musical"?
t: yes! that one! you look like the girl there!
b: oh really? maybe just because we're both brown. im from the philippines. and her parent is from there, too.
t: you see my name, tory? it's almost like the boy from that movie! just change the order of the two letters.
b: oh, ok. if you think so. thank you.
t: can we take a picture?
b: ok.
t: ill send you by email the picture, ok?
b: alright. thank you. i have to go now.
syeeeeettt?? vanessa hudgens? see zac efron? you can like me too!!
and it doesn't end there! the guy emailed me today. he really lived up to his promise of sending me the pic by email. it goes:
Dear (my name):
hello~~do you remember the HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL ?
i'm very glad to see you in the 10th China inport export fair!
long time no recive your massage i have a bit of thinking with you hehe ~~
i say i will give you the photo with you and me because i 'am handsome and you beautful ~
ok ,last time you ask me the plat and mug's price i think i give you the price have alittle high i'm sorry to here that since if you have any things i hope you can call me and take the massage
i thing we can build the good business!
THANK YOU /BEST WISHES FOR YOU ~!
Tory Miao
zac efron! we belong together! yihaaa!!! haha!
i have this super freaking funny incident while i was in canton last week. i was asking for prices from a guy of about my age manning one of the booths.
he was getting fidgety with his camera for some apparent reason. i ignored his mannerisms and proceeded with business as usual.
then, this conversation. he's t:
t: you look like the one from the movie! i like her so much. do you know who i'm talking about?
b: no. i know im not a celebrity. (puzzled. there's no way i'd look like a chinese celebrity)
t: no, you really look like her. do you know "musical group"?
b: could you be talking about "high school musical"?
t: yes! that one! you look like the girl there!
b: oh really? maybe just because we're both brown. im from the philippines. and her parent is from there, too.
t: you see my name, tory? it's almost like the boy from that movie! just change the order of the two letters.
b: oh, ok. if you think so. thank you.
t: can we take a picture?
b: ok.
t: ill send you by email the picture, ok?
b: alright. thank you. i have to go now.
syeeeeettt?? vanessa hudgens? see zac efron? you can like me too!!
and it doesn't end there! the guy emailed me today. he really lived up to his promise of sending me the pic by email. it goes:
Dear (my name):
hello~~do you remember the HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL ?
i'm very glad to see you in the 10th China inport export fair!
long time no recive your massage i have a bit of thinking with you hehe ~~
i say i will give you the photo with you and me because i 'am handsome and you beautful ~
ok ,last time you ask me the plat and mug's price i think i give you the price have alittle high i'm sorry to here that since if you have any things i hope you can call me and take the massage
i thing we can build the good business!
THANK YOU /BEST WISHES FOR YOU ~!
Tory Miao
zac efron! we belong together! yihaaa!!! haha!
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
bff
it's my bff's birthday today. i haven't greeted her yet but ill call her tomorrow. it's quite late now and she may be exhausted with her family reunions and all.
we've been close close friends for ten years now. she was one of the few people who talked to me genuinely when i was the only one transferred to the first section during our high school sophomore year from the most notorious section our school has ever had. she's one of the most lovable persons i know that's why i didn't get too surprised if a lot of people fell for her. i just wished i could protect her from those bastards who hurt her. we both have strong personalities, and sometimes people tend to overlook that and ignore our feelings. we cry. we get disappointed. we feel empty. we get hurt.
we only had two real fights - one was during our hs senior year because of that crazy bitch whose name isn't worth mentioning. the other one was more of a falling out due to a possessive past relationship, who ironically is her friend now. haha!
i could not imagine an easy life without her around. who would calm my nerves during my hypochondriac moments? who would speak ill of my ex's who know nothing but become possessive and/or become dependent then later on blame me for being controlling (as in what i want to hear that time and not necessarily her thoughts)? who would pimp me through my crushees? oh i still cant forget what she did during my 16th birthday!!! waaaahhh!!!
bottomline is, i am thankful that i got her for a bestfriend. papa jesus is good to me afterall. with all the shemexes all these years, i got by with her love and support. i hope that even if i am physically absent most of time, she can feel that im proud on how she has become and that i always wish her happiness and peace of mind.
once in a while i imagine what my life would be like ten, twenty years from now. i've been doing it since i was a teenager. there were realistic and exaggerated fantasies. i may have a mansion in one, or become married to a prince on the other, or become a fisherman's wife on the next one. my romantic attachments or material aspirations may change, but she's always there, together with our trusted hs friends. a constant in my life, whoever i've become. im pretty damn sure that we'll grow old as cool senior citizens bragging to our grand children how we overcame everything watching each other's back.
happy birthday emmy!
we've been close close friends for ten years now. she was one of the few people who talked to me genuinely when i was the only one transferred to the first section during our high school sophomore year from the most notorious section our school has ever had. she's one of the most lovable persons i know that's why i didn't get too surprised if a lot of people fell for her. i just wished i could protect her from those bastards who hurt her. we both have strong personalities, and sometimes people tend to overlook that and ignore our feelings. we cry. we get disappointed. we feel empty. we get hurt.
we only had two real fights - one was during our hs senior year because of that crazy bitch whose name isn't worth mentioning. the other one was more of a falling out due to a possessive past relationship, who ironically is her friend now. haha!
i could not imagine an easy life without her around. who would calm my nerves during my hypochondriac moments? who would speak ill of my ex's who know nothing but become possessive and/or become dependent then later on blame me for being controlling (as in what i want to hear that time and not necessarily her thoughts)? who would pimp me through my crushees? oh i still cant forget what she did during my 16th birthday!!! waaaahhh!!!
bottomline is, i am thankful that i got her for a bestfriend. papa jesus is good to me afterall. with all the shemexes all these years, i got by with her love and support. i hope that even if i am physically absent most of time, she can feel that im proud on how she has become and that i always wish her happiness and peace of mind.
once in a while i imagine what my life would be like ten, twenty years from now. i've been doing it since i was a teenager. there were realistic and exaggerated fantasies. i may have a mansion in one, or become married to a prince on the other, or become a fisherman's wife on the next one. my romantic attachments or material aspirations may change, but she's always there, together with our trusted hs friends. a constant in my life, whoever i've become. im pretty damn sure that we'll grow old as cool senior citizens bragging to our grand children how we overcame everything watching each other's back.
happy birthday emmy!
Monday, October 27, 2008
preggers
call me selfish, bitch at kung ano pang maisip mo, pero di ka ba naiinis sa mga officemates mo na nabubuntis? i know discriminatory and that cheesy line about life being a gift could be easily raised, pero naman!!! nung sa thomson, halinhinan silang magbuntis. there was a time i was doing the work of 3 peeps, dahil lahat either nakamaternity leave or kailangan magpacheck up. nakakainis minsan. imagine, 3 months! 3 months extra ang work mo! 3 months kang nagkakandahumahog tapusin trabaho nila kung wala ka namang kinalaman sa paggawa ng baby. dapat may proteksyon din ung mga workers na sumasalo ng trabaho nila.
tulad nitong officemate ko.. since apr 07 ako na sumasalo ng work nya. apr - june 07 ako nagcover kase nakunan sya. then ayaw magpaawat. gawa ulit sya. sinwerte. nakabuo ng oct 07. e dahil nakunan na, delikado daw magbuntis. so pahinga ulit ng 3 mos. ako na naman un! oct - dec 07. then manganganak naman. wala na sya ng may 08 para makapahinga. nung august 08 na bumalik. then last week dapat imimeet namin sya sa train station dahil pupunta kameng lahat sa canton. di sumipot. kase nagpacheck up daw the day before at nalamang preggers nga sya. ngayon unti unti nya ng pinapasa work nya saken. after one week long vacation na naman sya. naku naman... three months na naman???
kala ko naman napahinga nako onti sa demanding accounts nya.. syemay...
i should not be saying this since babae ako at baka mabuntis din ako soon... pero naman! ako nga todo ingat tapos sya parang nananadya. imagine, 6 mos lang sya pumapasok every year!!! ako for 6 mos doble ang trabaho... arrrrggggg!!! to think i abhor my job, then you have to double the pressure!!!
tulad nitong officemate ko.. since apr 07 ako na sumasalo ng work nya. apr - june 07 ako nagcover kase nakunan sya. then ayaw magpaawat. gawa ulit sya. sinwerte. nakabuo ng oct 07. e dahil nakunan na, delikado daw magbuntis. so pahinga ulit ng 3 mos. ako na naman un! oct - dec 07. then manganganak naman. wala na sya ng may 08 para makapahinga. nung august 08 na bumalik. then last week dapat imimeet namin sya sa train station dahil pupunta kameng lahat sa canton. di sumipot. kase nagpacheck up daw the day before at nalamang preggers nga sya. ngayon unti unti nya ng pinapasa work nya saken. after one week long vacation na naman sya. naku naman... three months na naman???
kala ko naman napahinga nako onti sa demanding accounts nya.. syemay...
i should not be saying this since babae ako at baka mabuntis din ako soon... pero naman! ako nga todo ingat tapos sya parang nananadya. imagine, 6 mos lang sya pumapasok every year!!! ako for 6 mos doble ang trabaho... arrrrggggg!!! to think i abhor my job, then you have to double the pressure!!!
iseshare ko lang...
sobrang tawa ako dito.. i got this from chico garcia's site where he compiles their top ten's for the day.
this is the winner for the topic: Signs That Things Have Gone Terribly Wrong, from username acer.
IF YOU WAKE UP AND YOUR THINGY AIN'T UP.
haha! how true?! the fear of all men.. haha!
this is the winner for the topic: Signs That Things Have Gone Terribly Wrong, from username acer.
IF YOU WAKE UP AND YOUR THINGY AIN'T UP.
haha! how true?! the fear of all men.. haha!
Saturday, October 25, 2008
kamatayan
my great grandma died yesterday. she was about 100 years old.
sya nagpalaki sa tataj ko bec his mother died while he was 4.
my aunt in the province called my dad last week, saying that his grandma seemed to be on her last days, and it would be nice to have her see him before she breathes her last life. my dad said he'll just wait for her to die and then saka sya luluwas...
ang mean. naiinis ako sa tataj ko for doing that. i mean sya ung nagpalaki sa kanya tapos ganun.. inuna pa nila inisip ung pera, ung tindahan, ung aso, ung xlt. i only saw her once and i've a vague memory of her. but sometimes, when you're bounded by financial burdens, you're just powerless. or sometimes, you just have a set of priorities. sadly, some people are assigned with lowest tier level.
but it got me thinking, pag kaya mamamatay ako, meron kayang mga taong iiwan ang present lives nila at luluwas ng pagkalayo layo makita lang ako for the last time? im thinking and parang iilang tao lang ang maaasahan kong gagawa nun for me. it's not about the drama, but it makes me scared.. im not really a lovable person, and i think if im gone, they'll just shrug it off their shoulders.
what if when im fifty at di kame magkatuluyan ni b? tapos di sya papayagan ng asawa nya na magpaalam man lang saken? what if im sixty tapos si bff nasa states at di maiwan ang hospital nya? what if im seventy tapos my younger sister cannot go to my place because she's bounded by a disease as well?
im scared of growing old.
im scared of being dependent.
im scared of fatal diseases.
im scared of being forgotten by people that i used to be so attached with.
im scared of death.
sya nagpalaki sa tataj ko bec his mother died while he was 4.
my aunt in the province called my dad last week, saying that his grandma seemed to be on her last days, and it would be nice to have her see him before she breathes her last life. my dad said he'll just wait for her to die and then saka sya luluwas...
ang mean. naiinis ako sa tataj ko for doing that. i mean sya ung nagpalaki sa kanya tapos ganun.. inuna pa nila inisip ung pera, ung tindahan, ung aso, ung xlt. i only saw her once and i've a vague memory of her. but sometimes, when you're bounded by financial burdens, you're just powerless. or sometimes, you just have a set of priorities. sadly, some people are assigned with lowest tier level.
but it got me thinking, pag kaya mamamatay ako, meron kayang mga taong iiwan ang present lives nila at luluwas ng pagkalayo layo makita lang ako for the last time? im thinking and parang iilang tao lang ang maaasahan kong gagawa nun for me. it's not about the drama, but it makes me scared.. im not really a lovable person, and i think if im gone, they'll just shrug it off their shoulders.
what if when im fifty at di kame magkatuluyan ni b? tapos di sya papayagan ng asawa nya na magpaalam man lang saken? what if im sixty tapos si bff nasa states at di maiwan ang hospital nya? what if im seventy tapos my younger sister cannot go to my place because she's bounded by a disease as well?
im scared of growing old.
im scared of being dependent.
im scared of fatal diseases.
im scared of being forgotten by people that i used to be so attached with.
im scared of death.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
love is blind
i got this from newsweek magazine. specifically from an article made by dr michael craig miller which talks about cognitive neuroscience.
...there's a scientific evidence that love really is blind; romantic love turns down or shuts off activity in the reasoning part of the brain and the amygdala. In the context of passion, the brain's judgment and fear centers are on leave. Love also shuts down the centers necessary to mentalize or sustain a theory of mind. Lovers stop differentiating you from me.
so you see, our brains make us do it. we're fools because we have foolish brains... and if you're lucky, you can be the happiest fool there is.
...there's a scientific evidence that love really is blind; romantic love turns down or shuts off activity in the reasoning part of the brain and the amygdala. In the context of passion, the brain's judgment and fear centers are on leave. Love also shuts down the centers necessary to mentalize or sustain a theory of mind. Lovers stop differentiating you from me.
so you see, our brains make us do it. we're fools because we have foolish brains... and if you're lucky, you can be the happiest fool there is.