when a door closes, a window opens

i did not get my dream job.

i did not even get an interview.

you know what can really piss me off? applying for a position, not getting a reply, and then i'll see that they'd post the same job advert a month later. did they actually look at my resume? i know it's not over the top, but it's pretty damn worthy of consideration.

arrrggggg!!! you have no idea how i badly i wanted that job! i've been dreaming of the things that i could do with it - how i can reach out to others, touch lives, empower women, empower pinoys... only to be deprived of an interview!

well if it's not for me, then the universe will just conspire for me not to get it. sheeet!!! when i was a kid, and blackouts used to be a normal part of lifestyle back then, i used to lie on our roof for hours waiting for a shooting star. i was highly influenced by those tv shows that say wishing for a shooting star can make your dreams come true. i waited and waited. only to get disappointed every time. now i am feeling that feeling again.

you have no idea how i hate my job now. for all the pressure, fatigue and thanklessness, i was actually surprised that i haven't reached my boiling point. im one of the most pretentious persons i know, and i never thought that i could fool myself to wake up everyday and tell myself that it will be alright to go to work. it gets worse everytime.

anyway, i have some things to look forward to. it's the last two months of the year and bitterness isn't the way to end it. lemme tell you a secret...

1. im going to meet arnel pineda!!! yihaaa!!! so dont brag about your previous arnel pineda encounters. this is arnel pineda, POST-journey! ha! beat that! international beauty na ito! migs ayesa, and then arnel pineda! they'll be holding an exclusive concert for a hk company, but i happened to have some connections.. so there! lunch out with one of the pinoys who made us proud.

2. im going to see sarah geronimo again! i could not get enough of her feb concert this year. sarah overdose! did i say that im her number 1 fan in hk???

3. im auditioning for a shakespearean play. i have zilch knowledge in theatre. i was actually very lousy during our hs skits, but somehow this got me excited. i hope i get a part, even a very small one. if not, i can always help during production. it'll be easier because i won't get stage fright. after all those hosting stints, i still get sick nervous.

4. we may go to guilin. have you watched the painted veil by ed norton? yes, that setting! ooohhhhh... excited already!

5. emmy and i may go to bohol and kota kinabalu next year! lord, please let there be a money shower in my house.. i promise ill be nice this christmas if all my financial woes will fade away.

6. and... and... im going to apply for a mexican scholarship... please wish me luck. i really need to go back to school. the program that im applying for is really what i want. all my interests rolled into one - spanish, south east asia, monthly stipend. what more can i ask for? oh yes, a money shower.

i have to go now. i still owe you some pictures! ok, ok.. next post.