i think i just made a difference.

it's two in the morning. my body's all worn out and i barely had time to sleep in the last three nights due to rehearsals, work, family pressure, club meetings, etc. but i can't help but write this one before i go to dreamland. i just finished my first evaluation forms from my last training and i was so close to shedding tears. this time it's not about bitterness, defeat, depression.

i read their evaluation forms and i saw that they really liked my first training. i know i did a very good job last sunday but i never fully realized it until i read their evaluation. it's so nice to hear women who are at least twice your age and whom you just met then thanking you for a job well done. the happiness is beyond words. they enjoyed the activities that i prepared. i've been to lots of enrich trainings and i could see how they lose interest middle of the course and discreetly leave the venue. it was different with mine last sunday. they were really participating and i was able to keep the number until we ended, even if we are an hour overtime. it means they appreciate the way i handled the course! yey!

i was telling my observer when she asked me about how i felt on my first training: this is like auditioning for your dream job. all my life i always thought that i am into voluntary works, i want to empower women and i can be a great trainer/teacher. had i failed on my first training, my world would crumble. all the personal image that i made myself believe shall slap me in the face and tell me that im dreaming the wrong dream if i failed.

but heck i nailed my first training! i got a very high trainer score.

and i think i just found my calling.

i never felt so human until today.