bff

it's my bff's birthday today. i haven't greeted her yet but ill call her tomorrow. it's quite late now and she may be exhausted with her family reunions and all.

we've been close close friends for ten years now. she was one of the few people who talked to me genuinely when i was the only one transferred to the first section during our high school sophomore year from the most notorious section our school has ever had. she's one of the most lovable persons i know that's why i didn't get too surprised if a lot of people fell for her. i just wished i could protect her from those bastards who hurt her. we both have strong personalities, and sometimes people tend to overlook that and ignore our feelings. we cry. we get disappointed. we feel empty. we get hurt.

we only had two real fights - one was during our hs senior year because of that crazy bitch whose name isn't worth mentioning. the other one was more of a falling out due to a possessive past relationship, who ironically is her friend now. haha!

i could not imagine an easy life without her around. who would calm my nerves during my hypochondriac moments? who would speak ill of my ex's who know nothing but become possessive and/or become dependent then later on blame me for being controlling (as in what i want to hear that time and not necessarily her thoughts)? who would pimp me through my crushees? oh i still cant forget what she did during my 16th birthday!!! waaaahhh!!!

bottomline is, i am thankful that i got her for a bestfriend. papa jesus is good to me afterall. with all the shemexes all these years, i got by with her love and support. i hope that even if i am physically absent most of time, she can feel that im proud on how she has become and that i always wish her happiness and peace of mind.

once in a while i imagine what my life would be like ten, twenty years from now. i've been doing it since i was a teenager. there were realistic and exaggerated fantasies. i may have a mansion in one, or become married to a prince on the other, or become a fisherman's wife on the next one. my romantic attachments or material aspirations may change, but she's always there, together with our trusted hs friends. a constant in my life, whoever i've become. im pretty damn sure that we'll grow old as cool senior citizens bragging to our grand children how we overcame everything watching each other's back.

happy birthday emmy!

preggers

call me selfish, bitch at kung ano pang maisip mo, pero di ka ba naiinis sa mga officemates mo na nabubuntis? i know discriminatory and that cheesy line about life being a gift could be easily raised, pero naman!!! nung sa thomson, halinhinan silang magbuntis. there was a time i was doing the work of 3 peeps, dahil lahat either nakamaternity leave or kailangan magpacheck up. nakakainis minsan. imagine, 3 months! 3 months extra ang work mo! 3 months kang nagkakandahumahog tapusin trabaho nila kung wala ka namang kinalaman sa paggawa ng baby. dapat may proteksyon din ung mga workers na sumasalo ng trabaho nila.

tulad nitong officemate ko.. since apr 07 ako na sumasalo ng work nya. apr - june 07 ako nagcover kase nakunan sya. then ayaw magpaawat. gawa ulit sya. sinwerte. nakabuo ng oct 07. e dahil nakunan na, delikado daw magbuntis. so pahinga ulit ng 3 mos. ako na naman un! oct - dec 07. then manganganak naman. wala na sya ng may 08 para makapahinga. nung august 08 na bumalik. then last week dapat imimeet namin sya sa train station dahil pupunta kameng lahat sa canton. di sumipot. kase nagpacheck up daw the day before at nalamang preggers nga sya. ngayon unti unti nya ng pinapasa work nya saken. after one week long vacation na naman sya. naku naman... three months na naman???

kala ko naman napahinga nako onti sa demanding accounts nya.. syemay...

i should not be saying this since babae ako at baka mabuntis din ako soon... pero naman! ako nga todo ingat tapos sya parang nananadya. imagine, 6 mos lang sya pumapasok every year!!! ako for 6 mos doble ang trabaho... arrrrggggg!!! to think i abhor my job, then you have to double the pressure!!!

iseshare ko lang...

sobrang tawa ako dito.. i got this from chico garcia's site where he compiles their top ten's for the day.

this is the winner for the topic: Signs That Things Have Gone Terribly Wrong, from username acer.


IF YOU WAKE UP AND YOUR THINGY AIN'T UP.


haha! how true?! the fear of all men.. haha!

kamatayan

my great grandma died yesterday. she was about 100 years old.

sya nagpalaki sa tataj ko bec his mother died while he was 4.

my aunt in the province called my dad last week, saying that his grandma seemed to be on her last days, and it would be nice to have her see him before she breathes her last life. my dad said he'll just wait for her to die and then saka sya luluwas...

ang mean. naiinis ako sa tataj ko for doing that. i mean sya ung nagpalaki sa kanya tapos ganun.. inuna pa nila inisip ung pera, ung tindahan, ung aso, ung xlt. i only saw her once and i've a vague memory of her. but sometimes, when you're bounded by financial burdens, you're just powerless. or sometimes, you just have a set of priorities. sadly, some people are assigned with lowest tier level.

but it got me thinking, pag kaya mamamatay ako, meron kayang mga taong iiwan ang present lives nila at luluwas ng pagkalayo layo makita lang ako for the last time? im thinking and parang iilang tao lang ang maaasahan kong gagawa nun for me. it's not about the drama, but it makes me scared.. im not really a lovable person, and i think if im gone, they'll just shrug it off their shoulders.

what if when im fifty at di kame magkatuluyan ni b? tapos di sya papayagan ng asawa nya na magpaalam man lang saken? what if im sixty tapos si bff nasa states at di maiwan ang hospital nya? what if im seventy tapos my younger sister cannot go to my place because she's bounded by a disease as well?

im scared of growing old.
im scared of being dependent.
im scared of fatal diseases.
im scared of being forgotten by people that i used to be so attached with.
im scared of death.

love is blind

i got this from newsweek magazine. specifically from an article made by dr michael craig miller which talks about cognitive neuroscience.


...there's a scientific evidence that love really is blind; romantic love turns down or shuts off activity in the reasoning part of the brain and the amygdala. In the context of passion, the brain's judgment and fear centers are on leave. Love also shuts down the centers necessary to mentalize or sustain a theory of mind. Lovers stop differentiating you from me.

so you see, our brains make us do it. we're fools because we have foolish brains... and if you're lucky, you can be the happiest fool there is.

ang magaling kong kapatid...

b and i have been together for quite a while. but would you believe that the members of my family don't even have any slight idea on how he looks like?

so my sister and i have been emailing now. she voluntarily sends me her recent pics.

i sent back a pic of me with b. what did she say?

cute naman pala si b. mukhang mabait.

ako naman: oo mabait. under sakin un.. haha!

at ang winner na hirit ng kapatid ko na nagmana saken? pakita mo pics ko kay b. iiwan ka nyan. hehe...

langya! the bitch! haha! aylavet!

update

i bought the punch ball set. it's really good. b liked it too..

to the tune of katty perry's famous song:

i bought a box kit and i liked it..

haay, im half a grand poorer.

kebs na! what if mamatay na ko tom? di ko na madadala datung ko sa langit.