dear hk

happy fourth year anniversary! ikaw na.. ikaw na ang pinakamatagal sa lahat! three years na lang permanently committed na tayo. i love you.

to celebrate our years of togetherness, i promise na on the last stage na ko ng recovery kay b. i was happy with him but i think i am happier when im just thinking of myself. or i have finally accepted that it's really not meant to be. i was looking back and i realized ako pa at ako lang ang nagreresearch kung pano madissolve ung issue nya. i realized ako lang ang may gusto talaga nun. im not questioning if he really loved me.. pero un nga, ako lang ang nagpipilit na matuloy sa happily ever after.

so pahinga na lang muna ako sa mga relationships. i officially started having relationships 8 years ago. 1 yr dun kay j. 1.5yrs kay r. 2.5 kay b. tapos 3 yrs moving on from r and/or desperately trying to get to have a bf then finally found b.

you see, i spent the peak of my life depending on other people's love to be happy. i'll love myself this time and i know i can never go wrong. kung may dumating, go lang. but im not going to look desperately for it. seriously, even with all the cheesy shemexes that relationships can give to one person... parang isa pa din syang tinik na natanggal pag natapos. minsan masarap din ung wala kang ineeffort-an.

i'll try to avoid looking at the lonely side of it. i have always been an anti social so it's really not so hard.

by the way, i enrolled in a mandarin class sa ymca last night. i missed the first class pero habol na lang ako. it's 10 times more expensive kesa cantonese class ko dati pero ok pa din ang rates. pampalipas oras lang. my plan next quarter would be to learn swimming and wall climbing! yeeeey! dapat enrol na ko sa wall climbing pero nagclash sya sa schedule ng mandarin. syempre mandarin pinili ko. nerd nga di ba?!

waaahhh! dami ko pa gusto gawin. piano lesson, german, belly dancing, tennis... weeeeee!