so... after 3 months im back.

when you're lonely, you blog.

i cannot believe i even thought of getting a tattoo saying 'im contented' at this age. twenty years ago i told myself that i am getting married when im 27. that would be the perfect age. i'd have loving husband that i am legally binded to, shall have a daughter, i'd have good savings, will have friends who invite me for events every weekend, and my parents wont get a hold of me, and i'd still look hot.

AND NOTHING'S GOING RIGHT. NOT EVEN ONE DAMN THING. in a few months i'll be 27th, and i dont even have the enthusiasm to go next building and workout so i can at least look hot.

what's happening to me???

i am sweating in this tiny room and if not for arrival of reah's brother, i would not be talking to anybody for two straight days. i spent my weekend marathon-ing 'how i met your mother'. it's one crazy show and if not for it i would not be exercising my facial muscles. my life is one boring hell.

i am at one of the lowest points of my life. i never felt this low since r dumped me. at least that time i had somebody to blame. but now everything's because of my own doing. i've been with a guy for two years and we dont even see us growing old together. yeah i know that youre in a relationship with the high hopes of seeing it last til the end. we have not gone to that point. i dont think we ever will. we know we are not each other's 'the one'. he's not lifting a finger to process the annulment and i plan my future without him. i am not sure if he's doing that because i got that line of thinking, or vice versa. we reached the point of being each other's male-female bestfriend that romance is non-existent end everything's just routinary. we lost it. we just stay because we've gotten so used to the things we do.

i got a higher paying job that only makes me work 5 times a day. it's still the same crappy job. just bigger pay check.

sorry my thoughts are all scattered. i told you my life is one boring hell. sheez...