aug 26, 2007

what does a little girl who is five hours away from her 24th birthday feel?

LONELY. SCARED. EMPTY.

i got everything planned. i know which dates i should do my medical check ups and visit friends in manila. i know what to do on my birthday, i would just chill out and have a good time with my family - something i haven't done in a long time.

two days before my scheduled homecoming, my big boss begged me to postpone my vacation. he said that we are meeting four clients in mexico and i need to be here next week to take care of my visa so we can fly on sunday. he said it is extremely important that i go because they have big plans for me. there will be a latin american team, and i will be the one supervising it, with my assistants and all those shits. and when it's the big boss asking you, there isn't really much you can do, is there? i had to cancel my flight to the phils and reschedule it by probably november.

i want to shout. i have been under unfair labor practice and now they make me suffer even more. i just do not want to elaborate on the misfortunes that i get here, but believe me, it is really inhuman at times.

i want to go home. i do not want to spend another birthday alone here. but i guess, it's just not my lucky year. mid-life crisis is now sinking in and i think i am getting more stuck in a situation where getting out is close to impossible. i've reached a point when i think i haven't done anything that i wanted and i am wasting my energy and youth over something which i am not passionate about. my sales and marketing career looks promising. but is this what i wanted? it sure isn't.

shit. im in deep shit.